{"id":288814,"date":"2022-04-14T16:39:30","date_gmt":"2022-04-14T15:39:30","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.unio-preparation.com\/blog\/false-beliefs-about-couples\/"},"modified":"2024-08-26T16:42:19","modified_gmt":"2024-08-26T15:42:19","slug":"false-beliefs-couples","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.unio-preparation.com\/en\/blog\/false-beliefs-couples\/","title":{"rendered":"False beliefs about couples"},"content":{"rendered":"\t\t
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\ud83c\udfe1 Accueil<\/a><\/span><\/span><\/p>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t<\/section>\n\t\t\t\t

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False beliefs about couples<\/h1>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Have you ever heard phrases like \u00ab eve\u00adryone around me is divor\u00adced, I\u2019ll pro\u00adba\u00adbly end up the same way<\/i> \u00bb, or from a com\u00adplexed for\u00admer tee\u00adna\u00adger \u00ab I\u2019ll never please anyone any\u00adway<\/i> \u00bb ?<\/p>\n\n

We all have beliefs about love and rela\u00adtion\u00adships : these are the fil\u00adters through which we view our love life.
\nThey can be per\u00adso\u00adnal (as in the two examples above) or more gene\u00adral, such as \u00ab no man is loo\u00adking for las\u00adting love today<\/i> \u00bb, or \u00ab if a couple quar\u00adrels, it means they\u2019re hea\u00adding for disaster !<\/i><\/p>\n\n

So where do these beliefs come from, and how can we free our\u00adselves from them if necessary ?<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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\ud83d\udca1 Beco\u00adming aware of these beliefs is one of the first steps to enabling you to 
\n build a solid foun\u00adda\u00adtion for a suc\u00adcess\u00adful mar\u00adried life.<\/a>
\n<\/strong>. We\u2019ll give you plen\u00adty more in our dedi\u00adca\u00adted article to put the odds in your favor.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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The origin of our beliefs about couples and love<\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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Our beliefs have various sources : socie\u00adty, our fami\u00adly envi\u00adron\u00adment and our indi\u00advi\u00addual roman\u00adtic history.<\/p>\n\n

First of all, socie\u00adty : depen\u00adding on the coun\u00adtry, the era, the envi\u00adron\u00adment\u2026 where we were born, our per\u00adcep\u00adtion of love and mar\u00adried life varies greatly.
\nIn our socie\u00adty, it is very stron\u00adgly influen\u00adced by Walt Dis\u00adney and roman\u00adtic come\u00addies, which have conveyed a cen\u00adtral idea : one must put all one\u2019s ener\u00adgy into fin\u00adding the right per\u00adson<\/strong> (myth : only one per\u00adson on earth can suit us), then eve\u00adry\u00adthing goes like clo\u00adck\u00adwork.they lived hap\u00adpi\u00adly and had many chil\u00addren<\/i>\u00bb(second myth : once you\u2019ve found the right the right per\u00adson<\/strong>No need to make the sligh\u00adtest effort, eve\u00adry\u00adthing is super-smooth!)<\/p>\n\n

But even within a given socie\u00adty, our per\u00adcep\u00adtions dif\u00adfer accor\u00adding to our fami\u00adly his\u00adto\u00adry : our vision of the couple depends very much on the models of couples we grew up with around us : fusio\u00adnal or inde\u00adpendent couples, \u00ab inde\u00adpendent \u00bb couples or \u00ab inde\u00adpendent \u00bb couples.uns\u00adtable<\/i> \u00bb or, on the contra\u00adry, only life\u00adlong marriages\u2026<\/p>\n\n

Our per\u00adso\u00adnal roman\u00adtic his\u00adto\u00adry also stron\u00adgly influences our vision of love : if, for example, our first love affair was mar\u00adked by vio\u00adlence, we inte\u00adgrate the idea that love goes hand in hand with vio\u00adlence into our future love life.<\/p>\n\n

It\u2019s also impor\u00adtant to unders\u00adtand the concept of congruence<\/span> : the human brain is constant\u00adly see\u00adking to confirm its beliefs. We will the\u00adre\u00adfore attract expe\u00adriences that confirm our ini\u00adtial vision of love.
\nFor example, a woman whose mother has always told her that all men are unfai\u00adth\u00adful and untrust\u00adwor\u00adthy is much more like\u00adly to attract this type of man into her life.<\/p>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t

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What are the most common beliefs about couples ? <\/h3>\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tAs we have just seen, there are as many beliefs as there are indi\u00advi\u00adduals, depen\u00adding on their ori\u00adgins, their expe\u00adriences\u2026\nHowe\u00adver, cer\u00adtain beliefs are wide\u00adly held, so it\u2019s worth ana\u00adly\u00adzing them. We have selec\u00adted 4 of them<\/strong>.\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t<\/div>\n\t\t\t\t
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  1. Mer\u00adger<\/span>
    \nIn movies, songs\u2026 hap\u00adpy couples are those who spend 100% of their time toge\u00adther.\nThe expres\u00adsion that sym\u00adbo\u00adlizes this per\u00adfect\u00adly is \u00ab my other half<\/i> \u00bb. Which impli\u00adcit\u00adly means that without the other, I\u2019m not whole and complete.
    \nAt Unio, we advo\u00adcate a dif\u00adferent vision : each mem\u00adber of a couple must culti\u00advate his or her indi\u00advi\u00addua\u00adli\u00adty, and one of the great chal\u00adlenges of a couple is to find the balance bet\u00adween time spent toge\u00adther and time spent apart<\/strong>.
    This is a sub\u00adject we invite you to explore fur\u00adther in ses\u00adsion 7 of the Unio pre\u00adma\u00adri\u00adtal coun\u00adse\u00adling pro\u00adgram (to find out more about the course, click here \ud83d\udc49 https:\/\/www.unio-preparation.com\/\/en\/premarital-counseling-course<\/a><\/strong>).<\/li>\n \t
  2. Conflicts<\/span>
    \nA wides\u00adpread myth is that a hap\u00adpy couple is one that never argues, and agrees on everything.