🏡 Accueil » ❤️ Couple life » False beliefs about couples
False beliefs about couples
Have you ever heard phrases like « everyone around me is divorced, I’ll probably end up the same way », or from a complexed former teenager « I’ll never please anyone anyway » ?
We all have beliefs about love and relationships : these are the filters through which we view our love life.
They can be personal (as in the two examples above) or more general, such as « no man is looking for lasting love today », or « if a couple quarrels, it means they’re heading for disaster !
So where do these beliefs come from, and how can we free ourselves from them if necessary ?
💡 Becoming aware of these beliefs is one of the first steps to enabling you to
build a solid foundation for a successful married life.
. We’ll give you plenty more in our dedicated article to put the odds in your favor.

The origin of our beliefs about couples and love
Our beliefs have various sources : society, our family environment and our individual romantic history.
First of all, society : depending on the country, the era, the environment… where we were born, our perception of love and married life varies greatly.
In our society, it is very strongly influenced by Walt Disney and romantic comedies, which have conveyed a central idea : one must put all one’s energy into finding the right person (myth : only one person on earth can suit us), then everything goes like clockwork.they lived happily and had many children»(second myth : once you’ve found the right the right personNo need to make the slightest effort, everything is super-smooth!)
But even within a given society, our perceptions differ according to our family history : our vision of the couple depends very much on the models of couples we grew up with around us : fusional or independent couples, « independent » couples or « independent » couples.unstable » or, on the contrary, only lifelong marriages…
Our personal romantic history also strongly influences our vision of love : if, for example, our first love affair was marked by violence, we integrate the idea that love goes hand in hand with violence into our future love life.
It’s also important to understand the concept of congruence : the human brain is constantly seeking to confirm its beliefs. We will therefore attract experiences that confirm our initial vision of love.
For example, a woman whose mother has always told her that all men are unfaithful and untrustworthy is much more likely to attract this type of man into her life.

What are the most common beliefs about couples ?
- Merger
In movies, songs… happy couples are those who spend 100% of their time together. The expression that symbolizes this perfectly is « my other half ». Which implicitly means that without the other, I’m not whole and complete.
At Unio, we advocate a different vision : each member of a couple must cultivate his or her individuality, and one of the great challenges of a couple is to find the balance between time spent together and time spent apart.
This is a subject we invite you to explore further in session 7 of the Unio premarital counseling program (to find out more about the course, click here 👉 https://www.unio-preparation.com//en/premarital-counseling-course). - Conflicts
A widespread myth is that a happy couple is one that never argues, and agrees on everything.- On the one hand, it’s perfectly utopian : you’re both individuals, and it’s perfectly normal to have disagreements.
- On the other hand, we don’t think it’s a good idea to have no conflicts. We’ve all been in a relationship where there’s never been any conflict, only to be stunned to learn overnight that the relationship has broken down. Arguing helps us to get to know each other better, to understand each other’s needs and scars…
- Passion
The media’s vision of the couple is often associated with strong, constant desire : the couple goes home, makes love and comes five minutes later. In real life, once the « honeymoon » phase is over, things are different : desire fluctuates (depending on many things such as stress, fatigue, context…), and most couples sooner or later experience « inequalities » in desire.
So don’t panic ! All these worries are perfectly normal, and learning to discuss them openly is the key ! Discover our tips for maintaining a couple’s desire for the long term. - Love, the only ingredient needed to make a relationship work.
Last but not least : once we’ve found the right person, once we’re both in love, there’s no more effort to be made – it’s all going to work out ! Well, we’re sorry to tell you, but no… Love has to be nurtured : by devoting time to your relationship, cultivating communication and honesty, keeping your commitments and showing yourself to be trustworthy…

How can we get rid of beliefs that do us a disservice ?
Okay, that’s nice, but what do we do with these beliefs we’re all carrying around ? In our view, there are several stages in this process :
- The first is to recognize them : what are the beliefs that are ingrained in me ? Where do they come from ?
- Then take stock : does this belief help me or hinder me ? Is it in line with my values ? Does it belong to me or did I receive it without paying attention ?
- If I choose to distance myself from it, what would I rather believe instead ?
Photo credits :
Brune photographie
which you can find on its website
here
.

- ✅ 100% secular
- ✅ 100% online
- ✅ 100% fun

Values in a relationship
- By Unio
The importance of sharing quality time as a couple
- By Unio
Love languages : the key to a fulfilling relationship
- By Unio
Our 5 tools to improve your couple’s communication
- By Unio
Maintaining desire : 3 keys to a happy couple in bed
- By Unio
10 relationship enemies to banish from your relationship
- By Unio
- ✅ 100% secular
- ✅ 100% online
- ✅ 100% fun
